Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
