Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
