I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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