So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
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I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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