She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
