Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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