then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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