i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
