That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
