Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize