Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
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