My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Pooping to opera.
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