I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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