Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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