Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
