I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
