I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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