just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
