I am in a vortex of obligation.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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