Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Farmville is her only friend.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Randomize
