yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
