I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize