YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize