youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
