sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I think I sprained my soul last night
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
