I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Randomize
