i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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