it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Randomize