marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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