my mouth tastes like poor choices
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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