I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
