you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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