A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
