Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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