I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
