white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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