Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I just made out with a guy for $7.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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