My liver just broke up with me...
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize