Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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