well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
