i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
