Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
