No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
why is half of my head shaved?
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