he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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