I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I forget how to act sober
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