In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
