the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
