PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Randomize
