Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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