i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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