Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
