He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
