please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
