My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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