So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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