i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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