Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
