help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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